Authors Note: This poem seems depressing at times, but I just thought about writing a poem with that first line, then everything just flowed. In my poems I wanted to do a better job at rhyming so it always makes perfect sense.
Tell me that everything will be okay
Tell me that our tears will go away
Tell me that the sun will shine brighter then ever
Tell me that we will be together forever
Tell me that you will never leave my side
They told us everything would be OK, they lied.
Tell me that our dreams have stayed the same
Tell me that we will stop this crazy game
Tell me we will get back on track
Tell me we will never go back
Tell me what I want to hear,
even if I know it's a lie.
Tell me everything.......
But promise me that things WILL get better.
I really like this poem Abby. You are improving so much when it comes to poems. I love how every line repeats with tell me, it is very well written. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteOh Abby, I love this poem. It was a rhyming poem, and those are my favorite. It kept saying "tell me" and that really added to the poem I think. Keep up the good work :)
ReplyDeleteI really like the emotion in this poem. It's so deep, and it really makes sense, like you said you were hoping it would in the author's note. Also, none of the ryhmes were the type that just sounded weird, like when people try to ryhme things that only sound a little bit alike. I could tell you put a lot of effort into this poem. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Olivia. It was SO good! I liked how the words rhymed so perfectly... the ONLY thing was at the end, the rhyming started to fall apart just a little bit but it still sounded really good!
ReplyDeleteThe rhyming works here, so I would start by saying that you hit your goal that way. The poem is certainly enjoyable, and has a musical quality to it, like it could be put into a song. When we write in closed form, trying to rhyme, it's also important to count the syllables to establish a pattern and rhythm. If you look back at your piece, there are some lines that sort of don't mesh, and it's because of this missing element. Perhaps next time you could step it up and work out a pattern that established a rhythm. If you'd like help with this, let me know.
ReplyDeleteNice poem, like the rhyming. Why did you write this? Just wondering.
ReplyDeleteYour use of repetition really adds to this poem. Also, the rhymes worked well.
ReplyDeleteI liked the rhymes. I also liked your use of repetition.
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